Sometimes when you dial down through all the ambience of session planning, dealing with time-wasters and making sure that you’ve got enough money in the bank to pay the bills, the one thing you never get time to do is just have a good old fashioned chat. Yeah sure, you do the customary pre-session chat and cup of tea, as well as the debrief aftercare.
But every so often, you get a client who just comes along to have a good old fashioned chat with you about anything in general. Not too get spanked on the butt checks or kicked in the balls, but just for a good old fashioned natter. One such client was the chap that I’m going to tell you about today.
For the sake of protecting identities, I shall call my client ‘Ben’. Ben was a truly lovely man in his 70s and a child of the Beatles and biker chick prod rock generation. He’d sadly lost a close family member to a well known and very debilitating illness, and had been trying out kink and BDSM for a steady period of time. His primary kink so to speak was therapeutic canning, and had even brought along a note from his new partner to explain things to me.
In Ben’s own words ‘wanted things to be done by a professional’. High praise indeed you could say. Although when Ben first walked in the door, he’d sadly got a little confused as to where the dungeon was due to a miscommunication in travel directions. (Don’t worry folks, I owe Ben my great thanks as he actually highlighted a very large flaw in my dungeon location mapping software, which has now been rectified and is completely correct).
When Ben first saw me his response actually caused me to raise an eyebrow, as he was relatively surprised to see me standing in the doorway to my dungeon suite. Ben’s remarks were something to the effect of “I thought I was seeing a woman today”. “I’m transgender female, which means that in the eyes of the law, I am a woman” was my reply.
Yep, many of you will now gasp and clasp your hands over your mouth when you hear this, as sadly that is the downside of having a website full of pictures that make you look like a page three model. I do see it as a compliment when people tell me how stunning I look, (as any member of the female gender would do). Although it does sometimes come as a bit of a surprise when people say that they were expecting to see a woman.
Trust me, if you want to avoid getting hit with the label of being a transphobic bigot, then it’s a good idea not to say that they want a real woman to someone who is transgender female. “Oh good grief, I’ve come into connect with a TERF” was my first thoughts, but my feelings on this matter soon evaporated when Ben was sat down in the comfy armchairs in my lounge area.
The one crucial point that you need to remember is that transgender women are women. Don’t let all the crap that the media and red-top tabloids say about the LGBT community, because it usually ends in the same old discussion of ‘which ruddy bathroom do I have a s””t in. If you want to know the real community, just go and talk to people in those communities, it’s that simple. If someone is transgender and appearing as female, then please for the love of all that’s holly don’t call them a man or use the pronouns he/him.
Although no actual play took place, I think it’s fair to say that Ben walked away from our conversation session with a far greater understanding of the world of BDSM, kink and fetish. It’s always a motto of mine that if I can help at least one person in a day, then I’ve done something worthwhile. Ben was of the same opinion, who struck me as being incredibly optimistic and was fearful that his kinks were strange.
Like I always say to those in my sessions, there’s no such thing as strange and weird in the kink, fetish and BDSM community, not by a long shot. As always, I tend to give my clients a hug when they leave, as a sign of respect and happiness towards everyone involved in the session. Ben was taken aback by my willingness to give him a hug, but i suspect that was probably because he was overwhelmed by the fact that I was transgender.
All the same, life is an adventure, and you have to live it to experience it. As always, stay kinky my lovelies and thanks for reading. Until next time everyone.
Mistress Sophie
